Just Thinking out Loud: Sharing your Truth

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Facing your truth

The past couple weekends have found me in a place of reflection on what a few of my friends want. Its not easy to listen to folks you love share over and over the same problems and situations and hurts and keep quiet. Okay, truthfully I do give my thoughts and observations and many times I’m the devil’s advocate.

Looking back I had a light bulb moment where I finally understood that everyone is where they want to be. What they want from me is consistent loyalty, and maybe not advice or my thoughts /opinions when requested. They want me to say what they want to hear. They want someone to help them validate their unhappiness or their choices. I can’t do it.

As I shared with one of my friends – if you’re in a relationship which is causing you pain, you’re committing suicide. Its all self induced because we have the natural sense to know when we need to safeguard ourselves. Fight or flee? You have to choose one because as long as you stay in a toxic situation it will kill you at some point. Or maybe the other person involved will do the killing. I know it sounds dramatic and harsh, but waiting for something bad to happen is like being an accessory to the dramatic and sometimes fatal ending.

Some people just need a friend to listen to them complain, gripe, get angry, blow a fuse, get crazy mad, feel sad, whine, lie to themselves, tell themselves the truth, make a choice, change choices, get messed up, pray with, lean on, laugh with, learn with, love with and a whole set of emotions.
Friendships are hard because they test our ability to know when to tell the truth and when to lie. Don’t doubt there are times your friends want you to lie to them because they live with their truth and sometimes tell you the lie.
So for all my friends, please know we are in this imperfectly flawed world together. I choose my road, and I respect the road you choose. I may not be able to tell you the lie, and the truth may hurt, but I sure love being your friend, and we got to live with our realities. So maybe if we have each others backs, we can be a better bench to lean on when the truth is shared.

Just thinking out loud.
Be blessed and encouraged

Thank you for reading, sharing and understanding!

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Just Thinking Out Loud: Don’t Be My Valentine

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Its that time again, and I’m just thing out loud for those who are celebrating the occasion!

Don’t Be My Valentine

I’m not looking for roses,
Don’t send me a bouquet.
I’m not feeling for your chocolates
Don’t get me started on even a cake
I’m not feeling for the date night
Nor the sentiments of love
Why do you wait on Valentines Day
To give me all the above?

I’m not feeling for your phone call
To ask me out, for dinner this time
I’m not waiting for a special song
The one, that says “you’ll always be mine”
I’m not trying to be difficult
Really, I’m not sure you can see
Why do you wait for Valentines Day
To say – I love you, my boo, my baby?

I’m not going to try to tell you
About all the days you made me cry
I’m not even going to give you
One more reason, to stay at my side
I’m still the person you met so long ago
The one you promised to be faithful to
Why should I wait for just one day
To hear you love me too?

To all of those who are celebrating
And happy to spruce up and get dressed
To all the loving couples
Who are somehow today feeling blessed
I’m not trying to rain on your parade
I just want this love you feel to be
Much more than a single celebration
Of a commercial, happy meal

It’s not the things that he will give you
Or the way she makes you feel
Its not the things he says he can do
Nor the way she lives your dreams
Its about a love that can find forgiveness
Comfort and compromise
Its about a love which will withstand challenges
In the face of all that brings tears to your eyes
Its about the sustaining love that goes beyond
The treasure of one time
If you can’t share the things right above
Don’t be my Valentine!

If this post resonates with you, lets share some love and comments with each other #LoveBeyondValentines

D-wordslayer

Credits: Photo – newhairstlyesfor men – free Bing pics
© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Controversial or just Keeping It Real!

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Hot topics…

It can be difficult to press that publish button sometimes. It’s especially hard for me when the subject matter can generate angry negative feelings.

Everyone will never share the same point of view on Religion, Sex , Politics. These are ‘hot topics’ and its like striking a match and watching a combustible response when tempers flare.

I’ve been publishing some posts of a political nature and its fascinating to watch and sometimes read the comments. Its absolutely insane the way people hate or love. I’m not sure about what happened to sharing opinions and having some fiery discussions with mutual respect as the bar. Hmmm, yes, it seems people have been ignited to revel in hate and anger. The level of uncaring, and condescending disregard for those suffering or in need, makes me fierce.

I want to protect and shield those who are forced into a state of loss and displacement from the anger and hatred coming from some corners of the globe, some leaders, and some people. How can I want what I cannot control? How can I make a difference when I watch the world leaders falter, as they are faced with a new ego-maniacal leader.

The European Union needs to stand together now. The rest of the world needs to pay attention to the ripple effect which the actions from the USA will foster. They are faced with a Trump and a Putin who are obviously intent on creating a dominating world alliance for their own selfish gains. It is very scary. Imagine a world leader slaps down the country he is supposed to hold up high, in support of its enemy. As I listened to Bill O’Reilly of Fox News question the USA president and indicate that Putin may be a killer, the response made me freeze in shock. The USA president, responded, ” There are a lot of killers. There are a lot of killers. What do you think— our country’s so innocent?” ( Yes, its been recorded, the entire interview and shown all over the world)

Yes, that’s the person that is supposed to be the leader of what was once considered to be a great nation. I’m guessing making America great again, has an addendum … for Russia!

These are just my ramblings and thoughts on an international hot political crisis situation brewing. On a lighter, but no less serious note, I’d like to share another post. This is called “The Nutkracker Files” and I’ll leave it for  you to decide if I’ve figured out the mess that has dropped on the world for 2017.

The Nutkracker Files

Thanks for reading this far. I know controversy is not great, but this is a reality check for those who wish to hear and see what is up close and personal. It impacts on all of us. God help America. God help the people of the world!

I appreciate all feedback  but won’t be drawn into a war of words. Lets keep it clean and leave the smut out!

Dwordslayer

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Christmas Then & Now

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Thinking Christmas…

This Christmas like every other Christmas is special. In Trinidad & Tobago, Christmas is our spring cleaning season. The smell of paint and the sound of women negotiating with storekeepers for the best deals on drapery and curtains are a part of the  preparation. We are caught up in the commercial web, but somehow the consumerism gives way to friendly camaraderie as shoppers meet and exchange ideas.

Christmas trees, decorations and music fill the air. We are a vibrant people, and very visual with our emotions. The malls, streets, and every city center is buzzing with activity. For me, getting the house ‘ready’ for entertaining and festivities seems like a mountain looking at a pebble on the beach. Can I ever finish, and will each day last longer than the last so I can do more with the time given? I am savoring these moments.

Things are different when ‘time’ goes by quickly. My babies are big babies, and they have their own ideas about the holidays. As I listen and look at then, I am reminded of who I was many years ago, and how I was too busy to enjoy the precious moments presented. Now, I wish to wait. I desire in my heart for each season to slowly release its essence and fill each room and space with an aroma. I am no longer, hastily awaiting the end, but I am enjoying the beginning of each day, and season.

My feelings for Christmas have evolved.I appreciate more what I grew up with. Here are my thoughts shared last year on a Christmas memory;

” The entire Christmas season as I remember it from childhood was filled with noise. There were squeals of laughter, and lots of shouting and some tears. Overall, the house -my home was warm with love and cheer. Even in times when there was little money for much, my mom somehow made the home warm especially at Christmas.

She was and is an amazing woman – my mom – Maricita Moreno Eversley. “It is what is in the heart and not the material things which bring joy” , this is what I remember from her. It is what I practice today. It is the tradition of sharing and enjoying what you have, and not thinking about what you don’t have. It is living with the warmth within you and not seeking what others may have on the outside.

On Christmas day I felt that warmth in my home  last year. The fires keep burning, as the laughter of my children (grown -up), friends and ‘borrowed’ grand-kids  fill the air! How wonderful this season of love!”

What are your memories of Christmas? What does it mean to you? For me it all boils down to family and love. This is what comes to my heart when I think of Christmas. We are the family of Jesus Christ and he was to us on this earth, in love!

Thanks for sharing, commenting and being a part of this season with me!

img_20151226_163408-1Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

A time of reflection

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Reflecting…

” The biggest part of who we are is sometimes who we are not!” (Eversley,DL. 2016)

Last year I wrote a post called “An Act Of Contrition…Renewing Me”, and published via LinkedIn Pulse. This year, as I read the post a lot of its truth still resonates. I have changed, my body is healing, and my spiritual core is being strengthened daily, but I am in essence the same. Reflecting on the words this year, has a lot more impact than last year. Maybe it is because, I have found the person I am will not change because of the circumstances around me. No I am me, and that person grows like a flame, when inspired by the miracle of life and living.

The post is shared below:

Sometimes to find the light within you need to move the junk covering your glow!

A few years ago I did a tour of Harrison’s Caves in Barbados – that’s a shot from inside above. Its a limestone cave which is quite beautiful to enter and go through. There is that feeling of discovering the light deep below the surface, covered in darkness. Hidden treasures waiting to be seen.

This year, I’ve had a lot to process. My heart, mind, body and soul needs to empty some stuff which can cause stress and clog the arteries of life.

Years ago growing up, I was a part of a family of Catholics (a religion) who prayed weekly together while at church on Sundays. It was seen as the correct thing to do, without really understanding why. There were the confessions which were feared, as I wished to avoid a very long list of devotionals to repeat as part of my repentance. I do remember feeling free after my penance was completed, but I always had many to do.

There were times I thought I would outsmart God and not tell him everything, because how would he really know my mind? It never worked, I simply gave in, afraid, the priest would know of my additional sin of lying to his boss!

As I sit here these memories come back to taunt me. Recalcitrant childish behavior is not seen only in children. The news shows a lot of politicians and famous public personalities engaging in behavior not acceptable in a child. What should their penance be, or is it okay for adults to do what we punish our children for?

Scanning social media every day makes it very clear, that maybe I was punished too harshly. I had to confess about telling my mom I took the candy she asked me not to take at 6 years old. I got suspended for calling my teacher names because I did not get my own way in class and I was only 11 years old. I even had a lot of penance for talking to the boys from the boy school next to my girl school. I had so much penance my name is probably in the ‘good book of saints’! I look at politicians trumping away with divisive language, increasing rage, fear, and I wonder will they ever have to say ‘an act of contrition’! 

I will be letting it all out – my feelings of contrition for bad behavior this year. I do hope it can be expelled through cleansing  and asking for forgiveness. I’ve had quite a lot of anger, hate, and enormous feelings to cause pain to those who hurt me in the recesses of my mind. There have been a lot of tantrum moments with my family as I adjusted to healing.  I’ve even been so bold as to say some harsh words at times to folks who say they “understand my hurt and it will pass, it will be okay.” How would they know, not being me? So yes, I was a bad girl and most times the platitudes were not appreciated when given – but I appreciate them now!

I’m also sorry for telling the folks at the government agencies that I know they are doing their best, when I actually thought otherwise. I’m sorry for being sweet and patient and kind – a real picture of diplomacy, when I really wanted to tell the truth about my feelings! I’m sorry for lying to myself by exercising patience and restraint with all those world leaders on behalf of my beloved refugees. I’m sorry for complacency, and compromising on some of my beliefs – accepting less than what I am due.

If I were to be given penance, it would be quite long, I’m sure. The politicians of the world do make me look like an angel but two wrongs do not make it right. I’m responsible for my actions and hope they share similar feelings during quiet moments. Reflective action is good.

I’m clearing the things that block out my light, so once more my heart is easier to see when looking in the mirror.

Now I am free, to forgive, move on and fill that wonderful empty space with happiness, hope and creativity! I’m not bitter, and I am certainly not sad. I am free, and I wish the same for you. I have hope, joy and opportunities I am still unaware of. My glass is filling with something great; I wish the same for you!

Lets get the rubbish out of the house called ‘self’ and burn it till the ashes are seen no more. Lets refresh, renew and accept our act of contrition to ourselves. Accepting our truth, and not being afraid to be bold in who we are. I am definitely ready for tomorrow, and I’m walking into my sun once more!

The Present

As I read the comments once more, the value of comments and interactions are highlighted. Everyone has something of value to add, whether in agreement or not. You can check out the original post here, if you wish, and you may find your own thoughts reflected.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts through liking and commenting. If it resonates please share with your network, family and friends.

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

The Best You

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Inspirational Thoughts…

seek

Toco2a (1)

 

Inspirational Thoughts  are deep reflections for personal development. Life can bring many challenges our way, but we have the power within, to conqueror and win in this journey!

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

The Beach and The Lighthouse

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My Favorite Place

Yesterday I went to the beach, and this is meant to relax and inspire!

I like the journey to my favorite beach on the island. It can take two hours or a little more based on traffic and road-works.

To visualize my journey here is a map of Trinidad. I left Chaguanas and headed to Galera Point in Toco! Hope you can find it…

Trinidad map

A long way to go

This beach is unlike any other. There are trees, forested areas, and a winding road which runs parallel to the coast line. Here are some photos taken with my LG Nexus mobile phone.

Toco1a            Toco1b

This beach is very sandy and grainy with lots of coral and pebbles, and for the first time I saw quite a bit of seaweed on the shore and in the water. There were people enjoying their sea-bath and quite a few children around, having a last minute frolic before school reopens next week. For me though it was just the sky and the water suspended in time.

Toco2a (1)    Toco2C   Toco2b

On this trip I promised Dean Owen I would write his sister’s name -‘Natasha’ in the sand – after reading his article on her life, and the link is here in the title… ‘She’s Blue‘. I tried to add ‘Owen’ and the water kept coming faster than I could write.

Toco3

The road which takes me to the  beach ends at The Lighthouse at the top on Galera Point.   Toco4c (2)     Toco6

Toco4c (1)    Toco7b (1)

There are picnic tables and benches scattered around the lighthouse area for folks who visit and spend time inhaling the clean crisp sea breeze. Looking down through the mangrove and trees from the cliff top, is a breath-taking view of the ocean ,waves and rocks.

Toco5a        Toco5c (2)

There are many things I’ve taken for granted through the years and going to the beach is one of them. Its always there. If I can’t get to one I’ll go to another. Times change, as do surroundings. Yesterday, I noticed some changes to my favorite beach. There were a few shops set up on entering the beach, a lifeguard post, and signs of commercialism from our local tourism agency. There was also a lot of garbage, plastic disposable wares, bottles and evidence that change may not be healthy for this environment.

Toco5c (1)

More than nostalgia

I took my photos hoping to avoid the new changes, and chose to keep my memories as they were. Life seems to be a lot like this beautiful place I’ve known for all of my forty seven years. In its natural state its innocence is revered and as time passes awareness creeps in. We are bombarded with speed and efficiency, economy and ease, newness, and unpleasant realities.

Who will take the garbage out of your life, when you use disposable relationships and leave them littered as you have consumed to your satisfaction. The garbage comes from using and leaving something behind. Why not take out the garbage, recycle, and keep what is good. There was a time when we would use Tupperware containers to take our food to the beach, returning home with them and washing for another time. I’m guessing habits have changed in all personal and practical aspects of life. It makes a lot of sense now. Will you minimize the garbage in your life?

Toco7b (2)

Maybe this is a season of understanding and a meeting of my past and present moving forward to a new tomorrow from today. Take a walk in the park, a walk on the beach, or simply look outside, this may be the last of your favorite place as you know it.

Hope you enjoyed my day yesterday and my new memories. There are two other pieces to share…

 

Found this treasure in the rural village! They are everywhere…the bees! http://www.bebee.com

Be hut

 

IMG_20160607_065045I am a mom, daughter, friend, businesswoman, lover of people, lover of places, lover of life, lover of God. Dwordslayer is who I am when I write, because I’m a lover of words and sharing their meaning. Thank you for reading and hope you will share with someone. Words can increase in value as they are shared – we may never know who may need the meaning, so lets give!

More reading selections:Canada – bebee-haven

Just Thinking out loud 6: The winding road

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content