From Flab to Fab!

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Writing it down

So you think there is a quick fix when it comes to weight loss? I’m sorry to tell you, first you need to define your flab and your fab for any action to work. Thought I would write myself a letter about my journey to fabulous today! For the New Year 2018 I’m going to reflect on my progress from this point and you can either bring out the champagne with me or eat some carrots as a consolation prize! I’ve had a head start and I’ve lost 2 dress sizes already, should I consider that an unfair advantage against me (haha)!

It’s started with that photo of the woman running. I saw it above the massage bed at the physio office, and it called me. I heard it. It said run with me. One day later, I’ll answer her by writing to me!

The Letter

Dear Self,

I’m defining my idea of flab as the loose tire I carry around my waist. The one that falls over, but looks like its getting deflated from the work I’ve put in so far. My arms are all jiggles but I can’t do much based on my back, shoulder, and injuries to my neck and right side of my body. The cellulite and fatty deposits on my thighs look like a I’m kneading flour for bread and its lumpy. I love the way my legs from below the knees look to my cute feet so that is one less area for development! The other side which I hope will go down ( but not holding out hope ) is my super huge derriere, which is firm but more than a tad on the enormous side! So that’s it. Everything else is good!

How I see fab is more about how I feel than a dress size. I’m wearing a 16/17 now and at the end of the year fab will be a size 12! For some folks that may seem big still for me, I’m not looking to be a scarecrow. I want to be fit, but I’m also aware of my challenges and limitations. I also want to be able to walk at a moderate pace without stopping, for an hour would be great. Injury wise, five minutes is a killer presently when walking. I’m also hoping I can do an hour on the bike at a decent borderline fast pace. I’m able to do twenty minutes slow while praying so I’m on track I think. Fab for me also means I can go to the beach and be able to stand in the water for more than ten minutes without losing my balance. Lets set standing in the water on the beach for one hour. Another thing I’m weary of  writing here is I really want to be able to go down on the ground and get back up easily more than once – I will even settle for twice – can’t even go down and get up without help!  Finally my fab test for the year end health ability will be to walk  five hundred steps at the national stadium ( In my other life I could do one thousand easily). Fab sure feels like I will be ready for Seal training next year 2018! I look fantastic in clothes, so lets see me in a red swimsuit, maybe a pseudo sports illustrated photo for regular folks!

Achieving these goals won’t happen unless I’m committed to making them happen. I’ve got to eat healthy and balanced and drink lots of water. I’m also going to rely heavily on good nutritional habits which I’ve been working on for a few months. My physiotherapists are going to have to help me with the physical stuff, and I will do whatever they allow at home. Most important though will be the inner strength I will work on developing from meditation and breathing exercises.

I know I can’t afford the fancy diets and trainers, and maybe I don’t have everything I wish I had to assure my success, but Self, I can do it. I can keep a food  and activity journal, because tracking my behavior is important. Hey, I know I don’t like writing “had a piece of cheesecake today again”, but I won’t lie because you will know!  This year my goal is healing and improving my health, whatever it takes to get to fab. I need my mind  and body to work with me. I also need my heart and spirit to cheer with me as I fight off the chocolate brownies and creamy decadent treats. I’ve been a yoyo for so long, I’m ready to change my model!

I’m afraid. Yikes, I’ve written it all down and I won’t give up because I’ve said it. Lets see how I can get cracking on my healthy me!

I’m accountable to you, and I won’t let you down Self. I’m rooting for you. You can do it. It’s just you and me and the unknown people reading this promise to yourself! I love you 🙂

Best encouragement and support,

Self

Journeys require understanding upfront

When you prepare for something, its always easier if you are clear on what you’re getting into before starting. Realism has escaped many when embarking on weight loss based on the quick fixes and crazy expectations locked in the mind. Writing it down gives a clearer picture of  what is required. Think about what works for you, and write it down. As I re-read this, I feel the urge to delete, because I’m beginning to feel afraid. That voice of doubt is my first challenge. I’m human, and I can tell that voice – shut up!

This is March 2017. The next time I write myself a letter on this will be,  1 January 2018.

Are you with me on your own ‘self’ journey, please share with me and lets do this together!

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

Cry…let the hero take a seat!

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Mr. Achilles and my heel!

I had to see a new doctor today for an evaluation. I’m just so tired of having to rehash  November, 2014. I’d like to forget it. Every time I think I’ve crossed that bridge, someone asks that innocent question – so tell me what happened?

Yes, big girls cry. Big men cry to. Crying children get lots of cuddles and support. Us, big folks, we try to go undercover, with the sunshades, or silly excuses.  Sometimes we get a cuddle, or that look that says, “grow some balls, you’re too big to still cry.” Avoidance may not be the solution but I’m not sure rehashing the past over and over makes any sense . Hmm, but why the tears, I wonder.

I like being considered strong, fierce, and kickass capable of fixing anything. How do you move from the flying hero zone to the flipside of a small sentence. Whatever happened to my resilience, bouncing back, more than a cat with nine lives. Hmm, I’m guessing  Mr. Achilles found my heel and took great pleasure making me sit.

Having discovered that pride is lost when one is injured and recovering, I’ve found patience with myself is in short supply, and maybe it always was. My sister describes me as capable, and always able to fix anything. Her thoughts are shared by most folks I’ve interacted with throughout my lifetime to date. I’m simply trying to fix me, and yes, patience has also asked me to sit next to the hero.

This time spent on the recovery journey has unearthed emotions which I preferred not to acknowledge. I never thought much about courage, kindness, faith, fear, grace to name a few. Believing anything was possible, and making it happen was my mantra. I can help my family, my children, and maybe even have a positive impact on those around me if I excelled. I’m beginning to realize maybe there was a lot of ‘Eros holding the world’ from Greek mythology  in my ego.

The Doctor’s office

As the tears rushed, I tried to contain them, but they could not hide. I tried a bravado excuse of a response, with a hasty rush of words proclaiming I’m doing well. Did not seem like the good specialist was buying what I wanted to sell. Any thoughts of a rejuvenated sales like approach failed fast as he did the mobility and other range exercises. Very sorry to say, my body refused to fulfill my bluffing abilities. I was left with the reality, and thankfully he did not look at me with pity.

Home at the computer

I’m okay. Really, I just wish to become so strong  Mr Achilles cannot have the power to make me sit. Sounds vain. I’m imperfect. I still want to make those ninja moves and put on my best suited armor. I will get there. Physical, mental and overall health are my priorities  for me. Its no fun being benched, but I’m using it to be a better improved me.

Maybe this should’ve been called feedback to self, but Mr. Achilles  Heel made me sit!

(*These are thoughts written Feb, 2017)

The decision to share this was not automatic, but I think its necessary for everyone to know its okay to have vulnerable times. Its important to understand who we are. Our strengths and weaknesses give us the balance to feel on our life’s journey. None are perfect, but we should try to be our best for ourselves. Sitting still has been a major accomplishment for me. There is great strength to tap into when we leave the world to rest and recover.

I hope my sharing has in some way resonated with you, and your own life journey. Thank you for reading and sharing.

D-wordslayer

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

Surrendering to Courage

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We belong

This was written a number of weeks ago, and maybe its the time to be published. Right now ‘courage’ is needed more than before in my lifetime and maybe yours. I have a vested interest in this world, and so do you. We live here. We breathe here. We belong here, whatever color , creed, race, religious belief, social status, political belief, and the rest.

It takes all that I have and then some more to have courage sometimes. No one can claim to have weathered a storm without experiencing courage. A lion does not have to be courageous unless he has to protect his loved ones or himself. What does it mean to have courage in the face of adversity and is it something one can have when one surrenders?

Finding our courage

Imagine with me – a man leaves his family and goes to work daily and patrols the streets as a policeman. He is prepared for adversity and criminal elements. One day he is faced with a decision to save a civilian, and may need to distract the criminal and pull the person to safety. He is trained to make a decision and does this automatically. The civilian is saved, he overpowers the bad guy and is lauded for his courage displayed in executing his duty. It may have gone another way and he could have lost his life. In the line of duty he could have saved the civilian and lost his own life. Whatever the outcome his courage should be lauded.

Stay with me as you imagine –  a mother raising her children alone, not prepared for single parenthood but doing it anyway. She does a good job working and providing, nurturing and protecting. Can executing her role be considered courageous? Then imagine – the mother protecting her  children from an intruder to keep them safe, ensuring none are injured. Lets assume she lost her life while protecting her children, has she displayed courage?

Now finally, look at yourself , do you see the lion within prepared or unprepared for courageous action? Hmmm, I’d like to believe if called on we can have the courage to carry out our convictions and responsibilities. Will we protect others the way we would our family instinctively. In a blink, things change, and we are called upon to act. Our reaction, in my opinion is determined by our surrender to our courage within!

Serving others and ourselves

Sometimes there is no distinction between a call to action for serving others, and a call to action for serving self. It can never be a fair trade for one man to give his life for another based on duty and another based on love.

For all the servicemen and women in my country and the world, your courage and courageous actions are remarkable, and I thank you. I remember you today, because maybe your loved ones won’t see you when I am with my own. So thank you for your courage and consideration.

Sometimes we need to surrender ourselves as an act of courage? Is that possible? Sometimes our attitudes, and ideologies need to be surrendered for us to be empowered with the courage to do what’s right and not hide behind what’s wrong. Maybe some convictions are taken by those without courage because it is an easy compromise. We all have it – courage, but it stays hidden until we let it out!

In a world where all we see is war, I pray for peace, love, and everyone.

Thank you for reading. If it resonates with you please share. Your thoughts on this post are greatly appreciated. When we share with each other we can gain insights and even courage!

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

Just Thinking Out Loud: #LIFEGOALS

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What are your #LIFEGOALS …

Writing today, from another perspective of my life.

Many of us are over forty. Yes. In this world there are many folks over forty, especially in my following of friends, associates and bloggers. We are either at the peak of our life goals cycle or working on getting there. We have so many experiences we’re either jaded cynics or filled with more hopes and possibilities of a life filled with failures and truths. While age is just a number, experiences tell the story of time spent.

Last night as I lay in my bed trying to touch every point of its emptiness, life and goals decided to take up residence in some open spaces! I don’t feel lonely in my bed, but I feel alone in my home. The home was a goal fulfilled, and the bed well that’s a discussion for another post! As I normally do when I lay down to sleep I think of my children and my choices. I pray for the blessing of their continued lives and safety, and I thank God for them.

One of the biggest goals in my life was for my children to grow up to be adults and to be around to see this. That was a life goal fulfilled, and I gave them the best opportunities and life I could as a parent. I don’t measure my accomplishments based on what odds were stacked against me. Life as a single parent was just another day in the choices I made – not a status to be used as an excuse or a celebration, simply a choice.

When you stand at the crossroads for your own #LIFEGOALS  it really is all about you. Your goals are all you. I wanted to be an entrepreneur – done it, and ongoing. I wanted to be heavily involved in branding and international trade – done it, hoping for ongoing. I wanted to help revive a failing company, done it. I wanted to create markets for what appeared impossible, done it. I really wanted to be exposed to the impossible and get a shot at making a positive improving difference, and I sure got what I wanted. I desired to help others, and its ongoing. I desired to help non-profits gain financial and other support, and that too is ongoing. My list goes on and on with the things accomplished. The things not accomplished is another list that matters but I’m realizing the burning passion to get them done does not burn as intensely.

So yes, what are my life goals now which will fill me with an intense desire for accomplishment? I’m working on this. At the next junction of my life there must be something which will help to qualify my obsession, the daily blessing called ‘my life’.  We all measure ourselves at sometime. My harshest critic is myself. I sometimes wonder if I’ve set my self actualization bar soo high, its unattainable. Unrealistic expectations can be a source of frustration and eventually hold us back from real opportunities. There must be realism when planning for our needs, or the bubble of fictitious hope will pop, leaving disillusionment and broken self-esteem.

Our careers and professional lives do tend to be a priority, based on our economic needs and wants. Everything else comes second or third priorities, and before you know it life ends. In my own life my career became a priority early on and now while its still important there is a subtle shift as the children are leaving the nest. Its almost empty.  My spiritual, health, and social needs are surfacing more. My sense of civic duty and humanity are all bigger priorities which compete for goal status in the planning process. Thus my question to me and you is one based on the present – When you think about your #LIFEGOALS does it reflect what you want and desire, or what will please others?

I’m just thinking out loud, and grateful to share with my world during my life! If this resonates with you, please let me know, share , and encourage others to consider #LIFEGOALS

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Christmas Then & Now

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Thinking Christmas…

This Christmas like every other Christmas is special. In Trinidad & Tobago, Christmas is our spring cleaning season. The smell of paint and the sound of women negotiating with storekeepers for the best deals on drapery and curtains are a part of the  preparation. We are caught up in the commercial web, but somehow the consumerism gives way to friendly camaraderie as shoppers meet and exchange ideas.

Christmas trees, decorations and music fill the air. We are a vibrant people, and very visual with our emotions. The malls, streets, and every city center is buzzing with activity. For me, getting the house ‘ready’ for entertaining and festivities seems like a mountain looking at a pebble on the beach. Can I ever finish, and will each day last longer than the last so I can do more with the time given? I am savoring these moments.

Things are different when ‘time’ goes by quickly. My babies are big babies, and they have their own ideas about the holidays. As I listen and look at then, I am reminded of who I was many years ago, and how I was too busy to enjoy the precious moments presented. Now, I wish to wait. I desire in my heart for each season to slowly release its essence and fill each room and space with an aroma. I am no longer, hastily awaiting the end, but I am enjoying the beginning of each day, and season.

My feelings for Christmas have evolved.I appreciate more what I grew up with. Here are my thoughts shared last year on a Christmas memory;

” The entire Christmas season as I remember it from childhood was filled with noise. There were squeals of laughter, and lots of shouting and some tears. Overall, the house -my home was warm with love and cheer. Even in times when there was little money for much, my mom somehow made the home warm especially at Christmas.

She was and is an amazing woman – my mom – Maricita Moreno Eversley. “It is what is in the heart and not the material things which bring joy” , this is what I remember from her. It is what I practice today. It is the tradition of sharing and enjoying what you have, and not thinking about what you don’t have. It is living with the warmth within you and not seeking what others may have on the outside.

On Christmas day I felt that warmth in my home  last year. The fires keep burning, as the laughter of my children (grown -up), friends and ‘borrowed’ grand-kids  fill the air! How wonderful this season of love!”

What are your memories of Christmas? What does it mean to you? For me it all boils down to family and love. This is what comes to my heart when I think of Christmas. We are the family of Jesus Christ and he was to us on this earth, in love!

Thanks for sharing, commenting and being a part of this season with me!

img_20151226_163408-1Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

A time of reflection

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Reflecting…

” The biggest part of who we are is sometimes who we are not!” (Eversley,DL. 2016)

Last year I wrote a post called “An Act Of Contrition…Renewing Me”, and published via LinkedIn Pulse. This year, as I read the post a lot of its truth still resonates. I have changed, my body is healing, and my spiritual core is being strengthened daily, but I am in essence the same. Reflecting on the words this year, has a lot more impact than last year. Maybe it is because, I have found the person I am will not change because of the circumstances around me. No I am me, and that person grows like a flame, when inspired by the miracle of life and living.

The post is shared below:

Sometimes to find the light within you need to move the junk covering your glow!

A few years ago I did a tour of Harrison’s Caves in Barbados – that’s a shot from inside above. Its a limestone cave which is quite beautiful to enter and go through. There is that feeling of discovering the light deep below the surface, covered in darkness. Hidden treasures waiting to be seen.

This year, I’ve had a lot to process. My heart, mind, body and soul needs to empty some stuff which can cause stress and clog the arteries of life.

Years ago growing up, I was a part of a family of Catholics (a religion) who prayed weekly together while at church on Sundays. It was seen as the correct thing to do, without really understanding why. There were the confessions which were feared, as I wished to avoid a very long list of devotionals to repeat as part of my repentance. I do remember feeling free after my penance was completed, but I always had many to do.

There were times I thought I would outsmart God and not tell him everything, because how would he really know my mind? It never worked, I simply gave in, afraid, the priest would know of my additional sin of lying to his boss!

As I sit here these memories come back to taunt me. Recalcitrant childish behavior is not seen only in children. The news shows a lot of politicians and famous public personalities engaging in behavior not acceptable in a child. What should their penance be, or is it okay for adults to do what we punish our children for?

Scanning social media every day makes it very clear, that maybe I was punished too harshly. I had to confess about telling my mom I took the candy she asked me not to take at 6 years old. I got suspended for calling my teacher names because I did not get my own way in class and I was only 11 years old. I even had a lot of penance for talking to the boys from the boy school next to my girl school. I had so much penance my name is probably in the ‘good book of saints’! I look at politicians trumping away with divisive language, increasing rage, fear, and I wonder will they ever have to say ‘an act of contrition’! 

I will be letting it all out – my feelings of contrition for bad behavior this year. I do hope it can be expelled through cleansing  and asking for forgiveness. I’ve had quite a lot of anger, hate, and enormous feelings to cause pain to those who hurt me in the recesses of my mind. There have been a lot of tantrum moments with my family as I adjusted to healing.  I’ve even been so bold as to say some harsh words at times to folks who say they “understand my hurt and it will pass, it will be okay.” How would they know, not being me? So yes, I was a bad girl and most times the platitudes were not appreciated when given – but I appreciate them now!

I’m also sorry for telling the folks at the government agencies that I know they are doing their best, when I actually thought otherwise. I’m sorry for being sweet and patient and kind – a real picture of diplomacy, when I really wanted to tell the truth about my feelings! I’m sorry for lying to myself by exercising patience and restraint with all those world leaders on behalf of my beloved refugees. I’m sorry for complacency, and compromising on some of my beliefs – accepting less than what I am due.

If I were to be given penance, it would be quite long, I’m sure. The politicians of the world do make me look like an angel but two wrongs do not make it right. I’m responsible for my actions and hope they share similar feelings during quiet moments. Reflective action is good.

I’m clearing the things that block out my light, so once more my heart is easier to see when looking in the mirror.

Now I am free, to forgive, move on and fill that wonderful empty space with happiness, hope and creativity! I’m not bitter, and I am certainly not sad. I am free, and I wish the same for you. I have hope, joy and opportunities I am still unaware of. My glass is filling with something great; I wish the same for you!

Lets get the rubbish out of the house called ‘self’ and burn it till the ashes are seen no more. Lets refresh, renew and accept our act of contrition to ourselves. Accepting our truth, and not being afraid to be bold in who we are. I am definitely ready for tomorrow, and I’m walking into my sun once more!

The Present

As I read the comments once more, the value of comments and interactions are highlighted. Everyone has something of value to add, whether in agreement or not. You can check out the original post here, if you wish, and you may find your own thoughts reflected.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts through liking and commenting. If it resonates please share with your network, family and friends.

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Just thinking out loud: Life with me is a limited time edition!

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Time

In clearing the drafts in my email something popped up, “life with me is a limited time edition.” So, here I go wondering where that line came from and saw it was from me – smile! I just have to smile at that cocky line which would have come about from somewhere unknown right now. If a thought comes to me I’ve been making notes on the ‘notes app’  on my mobile or in my email drafts. Sometimes I go back and continue, or, the words can be left behind along with the memory of why it came to light.

Writing can be a lot of fun when you pull everything together and a post or article is the finished product. When its incomplete if there is a residual remainder, the tale may never make it to the eyes of others. This brings me to some random thoughts on ending the year in a state of completeness.

Is it necessary to complete?

“To complete is to finish, making that which was started whole or brought to an end. Nothing more can be added, and even if something could be added, the time has run out.”(Eversley,2016

I am ending this year in a state of incompleteness (my non word). For the rest of my life I do not wish to be complete. I do not wish to find myself at the end of the road, but rather to keep adding and changing the person I am and the way I live. Yes. This is continuous improvement and personal development!

Life with me is a limited time edition because my time on this earth is limited. I want to end studying at the end of my life. I desire to stop loving everyone I care for at the end of my existence. I desire to keep working, inspiring, inventing, creating, when all of me has completed my circle of life. The way I choose to offer my services will always be improving because it will not have an ending on my ability. Who I am and my circumstances, will always change because they are not stagnant – this is my mantra for the end of this year and the upcoming new year.

Let me be incomplete because I am not absolutely perfect – simply aspiring for all the perfect opportunities to meet my imperfection, and together we will successfully complete our moment’s mission.

Life is a paradox of balance. We would do well to embrace its completeness.

Just thinking out loud…

Thanks for reading, sharing your thoughts with me, your circle of friends and followers.

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content