Just Thinking out Loud: Sharing your Truth

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Facing your truth

The past couple weekends have found me in a place of reflection on what a few of my friends want. Its not easy to listen to folks you love share over and over the same problems and situations and hurts and keep quiet. Okay, truthfully I do give my thoughts and observations and many times I’m the devil’s advocate.

Looking back I had a light bulb moment where I finally understood that everyone is where they want to be. What they want from me is consistent loyalty, and maybe not advice or my thoughts /opinions when requested. They want me to say what they want to hear. They want someone to help them validate their unhappiness or their choices. I can’t do it.

As I shared with one of my friends – if you’re in a relationship which is causing you pain, you’re committing suicide. Its all self induced because we have the natural sense to know when we need to safeguard ourselves. Fight or flee? You have to choose one because as long as you stay in a toxic situation it will kill you at some point. Or maybe the other person involved will do the killing. I know it sounds dramatic and harsh, but waiting for something bad to happen is like being an accessory to the dramatic and sometimes fatal ending.

Some people just need a friend to listen to them complain, gripe, get angry, blow a fuse, get crazy mad, feel sad, whine, lie to themselves, tell themselves the truth, make a choice, change choices, get messed up, pray with, lean on, laugh with, learn with, love with and a whole set of emotions.
Friendships are hard because they test our ability to know when to tell the truth and when to lie. Don’t doubt there are times your friends want you to lie to them because they live with their truth and sometimes tell you the lie.
So for all my friends, please know we are in this imperfectly flawed world together. I choose my road, and I respect the road you choose. I may not be able to tell you the lie, and the truth may hurt, but I sure love being your friend, and we got to live with our realities. So maybe if we have each others backs, we can be a better bench to lean on when the truth is shared.

Just thinking out loud.
Be blessed and encouraged

Thank you for reading, sharing and understanding!

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Love – Just Between You & Me

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Dwordslayer

What do I know about LOVE….

Love has many stories. Some are there to show us the way. They light a path to happiness, recovery, and mourning. Whatever we go through when we love, comes from a place so deep inside, sometimes, it hurts too much in the moment. It will pass, the joy, the hurt and  the pain. Love is real and life is imperfect!

Love makes us fools of passion and lust but gives us a reason to taste the sweet struggle of another. It can break you into a million pieces and it can take you soaring up, up to the highest pinnacle of emotional altitude! Love refines the rough and makes it smooth for tasting!

It is the love which flows through our veins and in that beating heart which makes us more, than mere mortals existing for today. It is the rush, the anticipation of…

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For the Broken Heart..There is Love!

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Dwordslayer

Loving memories

To celebrate love I’m shifting thoughts a bit, to include the wonderful feelings of love, and its many differences.

How do you define love. It means so many different things, based on experiences. I’m getting nostalgic and its all beautiful. When in love the raw emotion is urgent, or maybe its the lust which makes love urgent. However it seems, when there is no longer love, looking in is hard. Maybe there is love – even when it goes.

Love Goes….

I took the chance and took the fall

Ran for the risk, lost it all

Ever an endearment

You were my babycakes of a dream

Never saw it coming, but it could have been seen

I took all the chances to have you in my arms

You never saw my circumstances

You never saw my heart

We were living in a past

Existing like fools

My love…

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Just Thinking Out Loud: Don’t Be My Valentine

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Its that time again, and I’m just thing out loud for those who are celebrating the occasion!

Don’t Be My Valentine

I’m not looking for roses,
Don’t send me a bouquet.
I’m not feeling for your chocolates
Don’t get me started on even a cake
I’m not feeling for the date night
Nor the sentiments of love
Why do you wait on Valentines Day
To give me all the above?

I’m not feeling for your phone call
To ask me out, for dinner this time
I’m not waiting for a special song
The one, that says “you’ll always be mine”
I’m not trying to be difficult
Really, I’m not sure you can see
Why do you wait for Valentines Day
To say – I love you, my boo, my baby?

I’m not going to try to tell you
About all the days you made me cry
I’m not even going to give you
One more reason, to stay at my side
I’m still the person you met so long ago
The one you promised to be faithful to
Why should I wait for just one day
To hear you love me too?

To all of those who are celebrating
And happy to spruce up and get dressed
To all the loving couples
Who are somehow today feeling blessed
I’m not trying to rain on your parade
I just want this love you feel to be
Much more than a single celebration
Of a commercial, happy meal

It’s not the things that he will give you
Or the way she makes you feel
Its not the things he says he can do
Nor the way she lives your dreams
Its about a love that can find forgiveness
Comfort and compromise
Its about a love which will withstand challenges
In the face of all that brings tears to your eyes
Its about the sustaining love that goes beyond
The treasure of one time
If you can’t share the things right above
Don’t be my Valentine!

If this post resonates with you, lets share some love and comments with each other #LoveBeyondValentines

D-wordslayer

Credits: Photo – newhairstlyesfor men – free Bing pics
© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Storytelling , Orientation & Me

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Dwordslayer

mom stage

Growing up I never thought I was poor until someone said I was. Did I believe them -no, because poverty was associated with no place to call home, no food, no family, no education, no love, and I had them all!

We did not have a television for many years, though everyone else did. My mother  was a teacher for elementary  school and would help us create our own movies from the books we read. Aesop’s fables, Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, Enid Blyton, and many others were the ‘drafts’ for our scripts.

My sisters and I were also encouraged to write original stories, poems and songs based on a theme given a few days before. We made costumes and rehearsed our lines, and every Saturday evening, we had two or three ‘shows’ my three sisters and I. My mother was the director / producer, and though we never…

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Cry…let the hero take a seat!

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Mr. Achilles and my heel!

I had to see a new doctor today for an evaluation. I’m just so tired of having to rehash  November, 2014. I’d like to forget it. Every time I think I’ve crossed that bridge, someone asks that innocent question – so tell me what happened?

Yes, big girls cry. Big men cry to. Crying children get lots of cuddles and support. Us, big folks, we try to go undercover, with the sunshades, or silly excuses.  Sometimes we get a cuddle, or that look that says, “grow some balls, you’re too big to still cry.” Avoidance may not be the solution but I’m not sure rehashing the past over and over makes any sense . Hmm, but why the tears, I wonder.

I like being considered strong, fierce, and kickass capable of fixing anything. How do you move from the flying hero zone to the flipside of a small sentence. Whatever happened to my resilience, bouncing back, more than a cat with nine lives. Hmm, I’m guessing  Mr. Achilles found my heel and took great pleasure making me sit.

Having discovered that pride is lost when one is injured and recovering, I’ve found patience with myself is in short supply, and maybe it always was. My sister describes me as capable, and always able to fix anything. Her thoughts are shared by most folks I’ve interacted with throughout my lifetime to date. I’m simply trying to fix me, and yes, patience has also asked me to sit next to the hero.

This time spent on the recovery journey has unearthed emotions which I preferred not to acknowledge. I never thought much about courage, kindness, faith, fear, grace to name a few. Believing anything was possible, and making it happen was my mantra. I can help my family, my children, and maybe even have a positive impact on those around me if I excelled. I’m beginning to realize maybe there was a lot of ‘Eros holding the world’ from Greek mythology  in my ego.

The Doctor’s office

As the tears rushed, I tried to contain them, but they could not hide. I tried a bravado excuse of a response, with a hasty rush of words proclaiming I’m doing well. Did not seem like the good specialist was buying what I wanted to sell. Any thoughts of a rejuvenated sales like approach failed fast as he did the mobility and other range exercises. Very sorry to say, my body refused to fulfill my bluffing abilities. I was left with the reality, and thankfully he did not look at me with pity.

Home at the computer

I’m okay. Really, I just wish to become so strong  Mr Achilles cannot have the power to make me sit. Sounds vain. I’m imperfect. I still want to make those ninja moves and put on my best suited armor. I will get there. Physical, mental and overall health are my priorities  for me. Its no fun being benched, but I’m using it to be a better improved me.

Maybe this should’ve been called feedback to self, but Mr. Achilles  Heel made me sit!

(*These are thoughts written Feb, 2017)

The decision to share this was not automatic, but I think its necessary for everyone to know its okay to have vulnerable times. Its important to understand who we are. Our strengths and weaknesses give us the balance to feel on our life’s journey. None are perfect, but we should try to be our best for ourselves. Sitting still has been a major accomplishment for me. There is great strength to tap into when we leave the world to rest and recover.

I hope my sharing has in some way resonated with you, and your own life journey. Thank you for reading and sharing.

D-wordslayer

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

 

Controversial or just Keeping It Real!

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Hot topics…

It can be difficult to press that publish button sometimes. It’s especially hard for me when the subject matter can generate angry negative feelings.

Everyone will never share the same point of view on Religion, Sex , Politics. These are ‘hot topics’ and its like striking a match and watching a combustible response when tempers flare.

I’ve been publishing some posts of a political nature and its fascinating to watch and sometimes read the comments. Its absolutely insane the way people hate or love. I’m not sure about what happened to sharing opinions and having some fiery discussions with mutual respect as the bar. Hmmm, yes, it seems people have been ignited to revel in hate and anger. The level of uncaring, and condescending disregard for those suffering or in need, makes me fierce.

I want to protect and shield those who are forced into a state of loss and displacement from the anger and hatred coming from some corners of the globe, some leaders, and some people. How can I want what I cannot control? How can I make a difference when I watch the world leaders falter, as they are faced with a new ego-maniacal leader.

The European Union needs to stand together now. The rest of the world needs to pay attention to the ripple effect which the actions from the USA will foster. They are faced with a Trump and a Putin who are obviously intent on creating a dominating world alliance for their own selfish gains. It is very scary. Imagine a world leader slaps down the country he is supposed to hold up high, in support of its enemy. As I listened to Bill O’Reilly of Fox News question the USA president and indicate that Putin may be a killer, the response made me freeze in shock. The USA president, responded, ” There are a lot of killers. There are a lot of killers. What do you think— our country’s so innocent?” ( Yes, its been recorded, the entire interview and shown all over the world)

Yes, that’s the person that is supposed to be the leader of what was once considered to be a great nation. I’m guessing making America great again, has an addendum … for Russia!

These are just my ramblings and thoughts on an international hot political crisis situation brewing. On a lighter, but no less serious note, I’d like to share another post. This is called “The Nutkracker Files” and I’ll leave it for  you to decide if I’ve figured out the mess that has dropped on the world for 2017.

The Nutkracker Files

Thanks for reading this far. I know controversy is not great, but this is a reality check for those who wish to hear and see what is up close and personal. It impacts on all of us. God help America. God help the people of the world!

I appreciate all feedback  but won’t be drawn into a war of words. Lets keep it clean and leave the smut out!

Dwordslayer

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.