Parents…Patience & Love!

Standard

A mama’s truth

Parenting is hard. There are no manuals that tell you what to do to be the best parent for the child you birth. The only thing you know is this human being is dependent on you for a long time. No two children are the same. Actually the differences in children in the same home can be quite startling. Nevertheless, as a parent, for many of us, the learning never ceases. We build up expectations, hopes, dreams and fantasies of success and grandeur on many levels for all our babies. We love our children. I love my sons and beautiful daughter with my all. They are more precious than silver and gold. Indeed, the miracle of their life is a blessing beyond measure.

I’ve written about my sons previously, but I’d like to share about my daughter, and the complex relationship we have.

She’s a girl

She is headstrong. She loves to read, and is an incredible writer. My baby girl is smart, and loves doing makeup on herself, and is great with eyebrows. She has developed a sense of style, and enjoys getting her hair styled and being ‘on point’. She is great with the science and literary subjects, and initially thought she wanted to be a doctor. Presently, she is working until she figures out what her career path will be.

My daughter, my baby, does not like me, or my rules much at this time. I’m quite sure she has never liked my rules, and can find me intolerable on occasions. She does share her feelings on what she believes a mother is and should be, and I have been getting a failing grade for a long time. I’m not sure if I can ever be the mother she wishes for, but I am the mom she has.

If you feel shocked, as you get to this point, then, just think back to your own rebellious days, or your present. Our children are not ‘made to order’,nor are we who they wish for as they develop into adults, sometimes. Life can be like a field of thorns. Difficult to stand up, when every move can bring pain. I understand this, but standing up and walking on the prickly field, is a part of my parental journey. Eventually, the bed of roses will be there, waiting. The final destination, whenever it comes, will not be something you want to be around for. Hopefully, a child outlives their parents. This is my hope.

The relationship we share, as I mentioned is not smooth. There was a time a long time ago, I thought she was happy with me. Right now, I’m ‘persona non grata’, and her perceptions of me are not good. We both have trust issues. We both feel strongly. I hope that we can both love each other through the adversities, both real and imaginary. This is life.

Looking back, then forward

Growing up and entering my teenage years, was different to what children go through now. As I listen to my eldest son share on my thoughts from the past, and the realities of the present for my daughter, our differences are really similar, just presented in a different way. He has wisdom beyond his years, and is a spoonful of reality when needed.

As parents  our first instinct is to  protect,  and the next is to provide. Sometimes we have let go  sooner than we want to, and at other times we may  need to  release them even when  we don’t  think it’s wise.  I am reminded regularly of the upcoming twenty year birthday and how much more ‘others’ can do in her world.

As far as relationships go, this is the most  important one in my life at this moment,  and it takes  two to make it work and get better. I will  keep  trying,  praying  and  maybe one-day soon,  the bridge  between  us will be strong enough to weather  any storm.  As long as we have  life we have hope,  and I am  happy for this.

My dear  readers,  some stories are layered so deep beneath  the surface  we need to dig constantly to get to the core. Whatever your own story,  always  remember  each new day brings another chance to work on you. This is the yin and yang of life, and maybe the stories we hide, because the world needs to see the beautiful stories which hide reality. Be true. Keep it real.

Thanks for reading and sharing. I look forward to your thoughts and experiences if you will share with this blogging world!

D-wordslayer

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Parents…Patience & Love!

  1. shubhanshu

    wow Donna. This is another part of your life. As you said, we never born to order or to be ordered, few people are there who does not like their parents. so every child cannot be same and so I really do not expect any thing from my child. I only want them to stand for their selves and live their life graciously.

    Today you have uncovered a story which yes people may not like to be liking because who knows you cannot easily trust on this part but this is a real truth and so you are kind and beautiful heart.

    Parenting itself is another life which we have to live anyhow without expecting anything for us.

    I love this post most in all your posts so far.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s