To Give …
( This was written a few months ago. For whatever the reason, today I’m publishing, and hope you are inspired to live! )
We are here for more than one purpose. I firmly believe that Jesus Christ died for me, you and everyone. Some may believe the same, and some may not. I love you all.
What would l like my legacy to be, came crashing in almost two years ago. I felt that if I should die, I have not given enough, done enough, or loved enough. My thoughts were not on how much more money I need for bills, or the millions I wish I had in a bank account for my kids… no I simply wanted to have given more than I have.
That thought hurt. The thought that I may not be around to give was building within me as I wrote. I needed in some way to share my heart, for others who could see, could give others their heart, making hearts that much bigger. A way of being of service.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can make death seem imminent. If someone did not scream, and the car did not stop, I would be dead – but it stopped, and it will always stop, even in the flashbacks. Focus on the reality and the positives. There is a collage of feelings which I’ve been recovering from. The one thing I appreciate about this is it makes me appreciate my life more. You are quite unaware when you’re getting hit really hard remembering. It takes you back to that moment in time, when your life rushes to an end but it did not. Sympathy is not required – simply understanding.
If you have a strong positive hyper active personality like mine, this can shake your core if everything is pulled from you. Being forced to be slow is a challenge. My biggest fight has been engaging my brain to think. To come out of the darkness long enough to recall the light. My love for people has surely helped me, and because I could not go out I gave here, with words. It also let me focus on something other than the pain my body felt constantly.
I am doing fine. My body is healing and I’m stronger. There are some things which I will not be able to do, but they won’t impact on my ability to live. Yes, I have much more than I thought, and I can work on different strengths. The physical body is amazing!
Understanding the triggers and how you can relive the past is a learning curve for anyone diagnosed with PTSD. Regaining some measure of control is good. You can calm your way out of the unexpected. Being ready and thinking of the preparation which is there is a major source of comfort.
According to this Chinese Proverb, ‘The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step’. Wikipedia says it can be found in Chapter 64, Tao Te Ching, from Laozi.
One conscious movement, in the direction of forward makes all the difference. There are things you can control, and battles you can win. Let the one within be the beginning.
Start, go slowly, breathe in, breathe out and count… You are almost there!
From me to you…enjoy!
*** Special thanks to all my blogging friends on bebee, LinkedIn, WordPress, BlogSpot, Medium ***
I’m a mom, daughter, friend, businesswoman, lover of people, lover of places, lover of life, lover of God. Dwordslayer is who I am when I write, because I’m a lover of words and sharing their meaning. Thank you for reading and hope you will share with someone. Words can increase in value as they are shared – we may never know who may need the meaning, so lets give!
Credits: YouTube video Ranfis 94